Stories
Helen, professional woman aged 32 yrs
I have just read your book and it was as if you had written my story. I just could not believe it.
I was a Target of Sexual Harassment and Workplace Bullying.
I held two part jobs – one was a small family business and the other was a small company which was eventually bought by its opposition. One of the new managers advised me that I would be better off to work full-time for the new company so I gave up my family business job (first mistake). Unbeknown to me, the new company had already paid a woman to leave and her contract included a gag clause. I now realise, in hindsight, that she would not play their games - she was older and wiser.
I was in my late twenties then with two young children. I had a great home, an awesome family, great friends and this fantastic new job. My mum had not been well but as she was still quite young so I was not too concerned. Everything in my life seemed perfect.
The new manager, Hubert, took me out for training. He was very friendly and very likable. I couldn't fault him. He was also very generous when I asked him for sponsorships for my children’s school events.
Soon after joining the company, I was sent to the city for a two-day training course. What a set up this was! Only two other staff members were invited from out of town. They were given a room to share together and I was put on my own next door to Hubert. It should be noted that he was from this city and did not need to stay in the motel at all. The training was a joke at the company’s expense and Hubert spent more time hanging around me. I started to wonder about his ongoing attention but then thought there was no way he was coming on to me. I had done nothing to make him think other wise.
It was planned that the training group were to have dinner together the middle night. However, somehow it ended up being the two of us and some other people who were not staying at the motel. Later I found out that he was having sex with the other two women in the training group and did not want them at dinner. He was planning to do just that with me.
You may read this and think she got what she deserved. Until now I thought rape was when you get dragged off a back street and a big dirty rough man helps himself to you. But what followed that evening changed my life and my family’s for ever. I am crying while writing this as I am so ashamed that another man could do this to my partner and me. We had dinner and drinks and then more drinks - all the time talking about food and wine and while my poor family believed I was with such a great company. I had a little too much to drink and another woman offered to walk me back to my room. Hubert intervened and said he would take me back and paid for the others to go to their homes in a company paid taxi.
Hubert wanted sex. He came in to my room and would not leave. I sat there till 3 am hoping he would go. I finally said he had to go and he asked me to get in the shower. I wouldn’t and didn’t. He just would not go. It was 4 am or after by the time he had worn me down - he had sex then left my room.
I can’t explain what that night did to me. I know people say it’s only sex but I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. When I got back from the trip that evening, I went to a wedding and went on as though nothing had happened. The next day my sister noticed matching marks on each of my arms - I had not noticed them as I was so spaced out after the rape. A day later Craig noticed them but I dismissed them as nothing as I did not want to get on the wrong side of this man Hubert – he was an influential man in the company.
Two weeks later Hubert contacted me asking if we could meet and have sex again. I declined and told him that was a bad mistake. He seemed very sorry although he did not say it. He seemed to regret it and so I felt sorry for him. I was also not going to make waves when it could be brushed under the carpet.
Two weeks later he rang and said we needed to meet, stating work as the reason. When I got to his motel room he took books off the bed and asked me to sit down. I asked what I was getting into and he went on to say ‘my dick’ and pulled it out. I said ‘no bloody way’. He told me how many people had crossed him and were no longer working for the company. He even gave me the names of those who had lost their jobs because they crossed him. He also pointed out he was good friends with the General Manager. I was told that if I did not do what he wished I would never work in the trade again.
Interestingly enough – that is exactly what has happened anyway!
So I had sex with him again and went on pretending all was normal. It is hard to explain but it becomes a shameful secret. Each time he called me to a “work” meeting he would say it was the last time I would have to do it. I guess we had sex about eight times all up. I finally had a gut’s full and couldn’t take it any more -I got to the point where I bit his lip when he tried to kiss me
I now know he was also having sex with other women and his wife – he did not consider the women in the same class as himself. I was at breaking point when I found out my mother was dying but that didn’t stop him wanting sex. He even asked me to get one of my friends to come and have sex with him as he liked more than one woman at a time.
I used my Mum’s death as my reason for not speaking to him again. I was getting up to eight calls from him in the evening but would not speak to him. I didn’t know how to get out of this mess. About this time, his wife, who was in her late thirties, got pregnant with their first baby and he seemed to calm down for a while.
We all said great things and told him what a great dad he would be. Hubert said things like ‘it’s not my baby’ and ‘that thing can go to boarding school the day it’s born’. He reckoned he did not want it and kept saying to everyone ‘the baby will fuck up my lifestyle’.
He left me alone for almost two years until for no reason he started phoning me again. By this time I was stronger. I knew my job and did not need him. He had been promoted and was not in the same department as me. I had changed all my personal contact details but as he was senior manager he had access to confidential personnel files. The company must have known about his cell phone bill - he called me constantly. He would drive several hours to try and persuade me- to plead with me - to have sex with him. I eventually began taping our conversations.
He then started bad mouthing me in the company and people started turning on me. Things changed and got worse but I hung in there. I was finally called to a meeting and offered several thousand dollars to leave that day with an agreement that I could not talk about what happened. I did not have a lawyer and could not get one on short notice.
However before I left, with two witnesses present, I put the company’s HR Advisor on a speaker phone pleading with me to leave. The HR Advisor confirmed I was the best in my role in NZ and that I had done nothing wrong. She just said they (I assume she meant the senior managers) would make working at the company impossible for me.
After I left the company, Hubert began joking to others that he had been successful in getting me sacked. The staff was told to keep away from me. When I rang the company and pointed out that he had breached the confidential agreement they laughed at me and joked about me not having a job. I asked for the reference they had agreed to. It ended up just being a badly worded and spelled statement of employment.
The money came a month later. By this time, Craig had left me and I couldn’t even get the DBP because I had left my job for no reason. I couldn’t tell social welfare about my situation because I thought I would be breaching the confidential agreement if I did.
I went to a lawyer at last and she told me that my experience was the worst case of sexual harassment she had seen. She went to try and get my job back but soon worked out I was better off out of it. Their lawyer is as immoral as the senior managers are.
Hubert and his company were used to lawyer games (Hubert’s wife was a lawyer) and the company had a large budget for legal disputes. When I went for the real statement of claim, they knew I had them and employed their resources to try and further destroy me. Their lawyer, a partner in one of NZ’s top law firms, lead the fight using his ability to lie with conviction. My lawyers did their best and got me everything the law allowed as an out-of-court settlement.
I have been gone from the company for several years now. Unfortunately, I ran into Hubert recently just after his wife had died. I asked him why he had me sacked. He simply said ‘Because I can.’
He still has a job and everyone is feeling really sorry for him.
I had counselling for the rape and black mail. My goal was to get back to the way my life was before I worked for them which I now realise is unrealistic. I now must make the rest of my life and my children's lives worthwhile. My kids are no longer little. I did get a job with a very good company but found I couldn’t trust the men. I know it was all in my head but I couldn’t help it so left after a year. I did a diploma last year and at present am studying for a new career.
When I was at the company head office, management nicknamed me the bum blonde so this is the bum blonde with the courage to sue signing off.